I *should* be hungry

I am intrigued by juicing.  But, I am too frugal to waste the pulp, so I smooth.  This morning, I put into the kitchen ninja 4 small carrots, 2 small apples - cored, an extra large handful of kale, 1/2 a cucumber, 2 tbsp of flax seeds, 2 tbsp of chia seeds, and a frozen banana with about a cup of water and a drizzle of olive oil.  It made about 26 ounces of green smoothie, and they were sweet without being too sweet.  It took well over 2 hours to finish the drink, but only because it sustained a nice full feeling for quite some time, and it wound up covering part of my lunch meal too.

Last night, I made Chicken in Mustard Sauce to serve over spaghetti squash.  (http://paleoonthecheap.blogspot.com/2013/03/chicken-in-mustard-over-spaghetti-squash.html)
Husband is out of town, so I have bountiful leftovers.  For lunch, I spooned up a helping of leftovers.  I started piling it into my bowl, then put about half of it back, warmed it up and went to town.  YUMMY!!

After about 15 minutes, I had an urge to get up and make myself another bowl.  I kept thinking, I am not sated, I must still be hungry, then I realized I was kind of bored and my instinct was to eat.  I kept thinking, I should be hungry.  But, I wasn't.  3 hours later, I still wasn't.

Between a veggie slurpee, and a healthful serving of Chicken in Mustard for lunch, I'm good.  It is nearing dinner time, and I am just beginning to feel the hunger gnome nibbling around.  And, this time, I believe myself to be feeling actual hunger.

I have been constantly hungry, yet continuously bloated for so long that coming back to what my body is supposed to feel like has been kind of surreal.   Sometimes, I get it wrong.  I will take a moment and take inventory, and convince myself that I am not really hungry, but when I start to eat, I find that I am famished.  My frame of reference is so skewed from decades of abusing my body with food, that I do not even know if this is normal or not.

It is odd to stop every once in a while and think "Okay, am I hungry?", do a mental check with the rest of yourself, and realize that you are not hungry?  I wonder if this is what people do when they have eaten well all of their lives, or if it is something that I am especially aware of, like an alcoholic needs to be aware of a craving for alcohol?

Stumbling through all of this paleo/ancestral/primal/eating for my health stuff is in the process of changing the way that I think and perceive my own body, reality, and consciousness.  The journey continues, and I am liking the road now.  :-)

t