Monday, April 1, 2013

Paleo Tirade - a Mom calls BULLSHIT.

I am friends with many wonderful women.  They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and orientations. More than one of them have expressed curiosity about eating a more ancestral diet, and have come a-callin' with questions.  A few of them have even adopted some, or all, aspects of eating Paleo/Primal.

One of these amazingly beautiful women that I am privileged to call friend has been trying very hard to eat Paleo on a limited income.  She happened across a self proclaimed Paleo "Expert" at her gym.

At some point in the conversation, it came to light that she utilizes the conventional meats and fruits/veggies  that she gets at Wal-Mart - she does not even really look to make sure that they are organic.  She buys what she can afford according to the guidelines of Paleo/Primal eating.  

The person that she had been happily chatting with before, chose to become a closed minded, judgmental, jerk-wad of a human being.  He started reading her the riot act about not choosing the highest quality food available.  He actually had the gall to tell her that she might as well not have made any changes to her diet if she did not bother to eat only organic fruits and veggies and grass fed proteins.

Sorry, folks, but I am going to call BULLSHIT.  In an ideal world, everyone would be able to afford the most high qualities of foods with which to nourish themselves and their children.  But, then again, in an ideal world, pure socialism and pure communism would work too.  I am going to drop a bomb on you that will blow your ever lovin' mind - the world in which we live is not perfect. <gasp!>  I know!  Shocked the crap out of me too! 

It is exactly this kind of attitude that keeps people down.  It is an acculturated "crab mentality" in which folks go around telling others than no matter what they do, it is not enough.  Again - bullshit.

It is an attitude that can pervade any group - churches, PTA's, families, etc...  In any group of people, some of them can decide that the action is more important than the humanity.  People can get caught up in making sure that others not only know that their shit does not stink, but are forever pointing out to people the perceived stink of the other person's shit.  They make themselves feel more important by making others feel inadequate.  Again, I am calling bullshit.

Is it better to go along in "business as usual" mode and keep feeding your children fast food chicken nuggets, drive through burgers, or a quick dinner in a box, than it is to feed yourself and your kids fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean cuts of meat - however they are sourced?  I believe that it is better to do a little, than to do nothing at all.  

Changing incrementally is permissible - I give you leave to change as little or as much as is in your comfort and/or income level.  As long as the change is consistently in the right direction, you will eventually make it.  It is actually better to change incrementally than to try to change a whole heck of a lot all at once.  

There are some people that need to go "cold turkey" and bully for them if they can do it- I envy them and their ability!  The other 90% of us will get overwhelmed and trying to change all at once is a recipe for self-sabotage.

We need to stop doing this to one another!  

Each an every person that you meet - look at them and see the person that to you is most precious.  Your child, your parent, your sibling, your lover, a heroic figure that inspires you...  How would you want a stranger to treat that person?  Got it in your head?  Okay..  Now, treat the people you meet that way.  Because the person that you are talking to?  The people that you encounter every day of your life? - we are all important.  Not only because we are important to others, but because we are human beings deserving of feeling good about ourselves.

Because, what do you think is going to happen with the person that you have crushed?  They will go on and self soothe, and there is an 80% chance they they will self soothe in self-destructive ways.  Eating, cutting, smoking, getting high, or nameless and faceless sexual congress.  These are all extreme examples, but I have seen each of them used as incredibly dysfunctional "self soothes".  

I will never knowingly meet this person, since my lovely friend (who called me in tears after the encounter) would never "out" him, so I will unleash here.  Apologies in advance for the tirade, and any language that you may find salty.  I know that it is a sign of a messy mind to rely on foul language, so I will be showing the mess in my head...

"Shame on you!  Look here, buddy, you made my friend feel bad, and that is NOT COOL!  Who the hell do you think you are telling her that she is not a good mother if she does not "suck it up and spend what you have to" in order to feed her kids ground beef at $7.93 per lb. (http://www.grasslandbeef.com/Detail.bok?no=524)  

Do you know how much ground beef you go through when you are feeding 2 teenaged boys and a 12 year old girl, along with your grown self and your grown husband?  Do you have a single clue?  Obviously you do not, so please go out and get one for yourself.  I'll wait right here.  

Oh, you made the decision to eat only the best?  Bully for you, dude!  I am glad that you have that kind of money, but she does not.  I am genuinely glad for you that you have the freedom and the ability to make those choices, because not everybody does.  You live not only better than 99.7% of the world, but better than 90% of your fellow Americans.  You have already won the race - congratulations!  Now, do not hang out at the finish line and kick sand into the faces of everybody else that is not up to your abilities and standards.  It is petty and small of you, and frankly, it is unattractive. 

Do you get the fact that she is trying her ever lovin' best, and does not need you spewing your own issues on to her?  Go take your ass down to the therapy store and get some of that, because your attitude sucks and you obviously got that from somebody.  If they trained you to be an asshole, they probably gave you a host of other problems too, asshole.  

Let's make a deal, you don't go around making people feel like shit about themselves, and I will not use my itty bitty bit of free time thinking of ways to inconvenience you.  I have already figured out that it would be a real bitch if I came over to your house and siphoned your gas every evening so you started out with an empty tank each and every fucking morning for the next week.  Now, of course, I would keep the gas in a container and deliver it back to you later - otherwise it would be stealing-, but wouldn't that be a bitch of an inconvenience for a few days?

You have officially made mad a mini van driving she-bitch mama bear, and woe on you if we ever cross paths.  I will give you an earful, then read you the riot act, then tell you to clean up your act, be a better human, then be forced to bake you a Paleo Banana Nut cake because I felt bad for yelling at you.

Let's save ourselves the time and energies and just have you be a kind human being, okay?"

Thanks to each of you for "listening" to my tirade.  If you find yourself in a situation, and armed with the inclination, where you have the choice of eating according to an ancestral diet with conventionally sourced meats and fruits and vegetables, DO IT!  You do not have to be perfect, your diet does not have to be perfect!  If you are doing something that is on the road to being better than you were before, then KEEP DOING IT!  Do not let the bastards get you down!   Be good, be patient, and be kind.

t

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